Model Behavior

"...a human life is also a performance in time and process of becoming." - Mortimer J. Adler


A role...? Stop playing!

That's the semi-cheesy version of my response to a loved one when asked to assist an indy film. It's not really my arena, so I admit that being a gun-slinging freedom fighter determined to encourage an ex-priest back to faith on green screen/hungry boom operator was fun! I offered a similar response to another when, without being asked, I was signed up on some dating website then invited to view a bikini-clad, ocean-loving version of myself smiling at unseen family from the laptop screen of the would-be crime. As for fun once I realized the additional photo, bad headline, blurb and a few personal facts could have gone live to random strangers in a manner I don't respect: not so much.

With a quick edit, I let the latter young'n know that there was yet time for my neck of the woods to manifest either the hot beach days or rightful connection with a man (visually motivated as many insist the species is) making that type of revelation necessary. The funny thing is that back when I was a few years younger than her, fresh out of junior high and playing what I thought was 'good matchmaker', I'd showed a similar photo of my older sister to a young man I knew from school. Oh, you want to meet a young lady priced "far above rubies"? Look, up in the tree! It's aviator shades, some skin and a coconut! Much wisdom was gained once I got home and shared the answer of an interest never enquired. Good Misguided Educational times!

The day of the more modern mistake presented a pleasant contrast to its previous 24 hours, when my heart broke following late news of a great, multigenerational loss. I wanted to scream, drank [sic], curse, fight, cry, speak with someone and be silent with my God in and over All. Instead, the gamut of emotion, temperature, vice and virtue ran through that mere facet of this lifetime as what appeared to be my calm attention leapt over tall buildings then trees out the window. From a bus seat. Alone. Headed in. The right direction...

Deciding who among my contemporaries I could reach out to with a field, heart and moment free enough of their own 'stuff' to really hear me without unfounded accident or incident was a brief challenge. Looking across the aisle for expanded humanity instead, a woman read a book entitled "Shut Your Eyes Tight". The wave of laughter that accompanied the memory of my grandmother drilling us girls with her version of the phrase whenever we had something big to surmount did exactly that and nearly sealed them. Who knew then that she was a Joyce fan or, more likely, understood that she was advising us on how to get still and peer beyond the superficial as needed?

As we near the Mothers Day holiday in the U.S., I honor this and all related counsel of the critical, compassionate kind from my heart. I posted one such communication at the top of 2011, as it reframed The Lord's Prayer or "Our Father" to acknowledge the Godhead's totality by considering the maternal, "Cosmic Birther" essence. If you will, take a look at the former entry here. We are ALL impressionable sons and daughters of someone, if nothing else. The guiding examples of Godly wo/men are paramount to our wellbeing so, even in Spirit, be sure to look also into the eyes of your (spiritual) mothers with Love and gratitude this weekend and beyond.

Yellow No. 2

I recently noticed for the first time two things that could have gotten my attention much sooner. One was an impromptu, first glimpse at the TV One series, "Black Men Revealed". The second was the Charlize Theron film, "Young Adult". (Actually, the movie "Tower Heist" made three and its key element of gold might fit as you read on; just not enough for these primary purposes.) From the outside, the two appear to have nothing in common. Removing the varied s(k)ins from the surface, however, I was surprised to find the themes of unrequited love and miscarriage at the heart of both.

In BMR's case, the random episode from the first of two seasons featured five celebrities discussing their run-ins with emotionally and/or mentally unstable women who took great lengths to bring confusion and displaced anger to their lives and those of anyone even remotely involved with them. Vandalism of property, phone/e-mail tampering and suicidal or homicidal threats were among the suffering the men chose to speak of. Who knows what pain they might have encouraged in and/or suffered under those women?

Incidentally, Theron's Mavis Gray character spent a bit more than the movie's first hour wreaking havoc in an old flame's happily married-with-child life due to her disappointment with the high-rise living, ghostwriting success story she'd drafted for herself. Divorcing her adolescent 'mean girl' ways, hometown (less than an hour away in the same state) and eventual husband for the exciting comeuppance of the "mini Apple" also known as Minneapolis were not enough. To ask her, any entity other than her liver had to pay.

Unknown to each other, the TV episode and movie showed how secrets or the lack of knowledge otherwise led to damaged relationships. Possibly without realizing how shamefully little he knew or cared about women's health, one gentleman on the show seemed self-justified in breaking up with a young lady he "really liked" for what he deemed lying because she answered his question of ever having had children or an abortion with an honest "no" but told him of a miscarriage she endured. I can only imagine the insult his ignorance added to her injuries. The movie's climax, on the other hand, featured Ms. Gray's shameless, hard liquor-infused attempts to gain company for her misery at the couple's party by revealing the tragedy she and the high school ex experienced so many years prior. While their unborn child's death had nothing to do with SIDS or the abortion procedure Mr. TV Show Guest (and possibly thousands of other people lump into one type of the various judgment balls we dodge daily), the script's context suggests it was sudden and painful enough for Mavis to consciously harm and disregard the existence of a bond outside of her own fixation.

Had the confused panelist not been emotionally abandoned early on by his mother as he shared in the episode, he might have been less inclined to pursue those really deceptive and unavailable women he gravitated to instead of allowing himself to grow and better know the one he accused. Had Gray or anyone else besides the object of her greatest hatred realized her heart's stagnation in the early stages of grief, she might have accepted that said object and her greatest desire were actually one in the same; the former simply wanting for another what wellness she wanted for herself, despite the painful self-hatred dressed as disrespect she'd received. There really is no place for dark spirits to linger too long in the light of Truth.

I once read a line somewhere to the effect of points being futile, because erasers exist. Although it was worded and presented in a much cuter package than what I've just offered, it was and still is false. For better or worse, everyone knows that some things can never be erased—especially not with temporary reversals of fortune based only on what we tell ourselves. Can those things be excused or embraced? If it's not out of one's place or enabling of flaws but healthy and wise to do so, yes. I also believe patience, transparency and understanding will assist that process.

Come to think of it, those three would work well in solving most math problems or for standardized exams of any subject. These days, iPads and other technology that can get touched in classes eliminates yesteryear's convenient but easily compromised dry erase boards and clear film. For those utilizing good ol' No. 2 pencils, exam tips are the same. Know what you're doing, take your time, avoid erasing so as not to jeopardize your score but, if you must, do so thoroughly enough to clearly state your answer while keeping the sheet intact.

Will we see yellow as a sign of fear and an opposing, unfiltered jaundice of sorts or expand our sights to include the color as an expression of joy, the ripeness of Earth and a centered will balanced with caution? Something tells me the second option is a good idea. All the best in your tests.

Self-Known

Fear and doubt are realities for many. Revisiting Job and the Psalms, the same can be said of ignorance.

The rightful and Lovely application of ninjitsu notwithstanding, what good purpose is there to operating from a hidden place of selfish harm beneath Unity's bridge? None. Stealth mode to harm the Hands that rock, feed, guide and raise us pales in comparison to knowing and allowing one's self to be better. 

For example, soda has contributed to its share of unfortunate mishaps in the past; a sneaky carbon dioxide leak being the latter culprit. An excessive relationship and aimlessly throwing its trash when we think no one sees or hears, however, is troll-like and dishonorable of us.

Heaven embodies many mansions bey(on)d this Earth and bears universal witness, especially to the value of taking permanent residence in everyone -- yes, YOU too, even if you once surrendered to Life's base energies and attempts! Who in the pursuit of power or perfection hasn't? Don't dwell there; confess/'right' the wrongs and leave them alone, like Lucille Pope suggests.

Starting today and with/in ourselves, let's remove the b.s. from our lives; lovingly isolate and replace  its nourishing, fertilizing components, and cultivate that home in our he/arts. Thankfully, proverbial droppings, worms, dirt, cracked shells, just enough clean water (emotion) and such are very useful to God.

You know the drill: choose materials that last in the first place, conserve resources, consume sensibly, waste less, compost, recycle... Before long, a place of beauty, comfort, healthy productivity, protection, respite and reverence will emerge. Neighbors might even appear more like the pleased Creator, Who literally matters so much that all flora, flesh and finer beings are family. Oh yeah, our (windowsill or lawn) gardens might improve too :)