Look Alive

08 February 2011


So much in Life can be characterized along the lines of have and have not, given and taken/received, done by omission/commission or not. The Scripture says that there are none among us perfect and without sin, save the Lord. That last clause was not just to highlight the exceptional nature of Christ but the need for ALL our salvation as well.

Last night, I had a first, albeit late, look at a video from an artist named Ladybug Mecca. As one-third of the memorable hip-hop group Digable Planets, the (rapper and) singer seemed to have taken a musical turn with "You Never Get Over It". The video showcased the turmoil that can result from our earthly losses -- of parents, of children through natural or even our own efforts, of the familiar comfort of love, of anything we cherish. The artist's world was sorely divided between grey despondency and bejeweled vibrancy.

What I found interesting was the adornment of her hands as she moved through the scenes. Despite the shades her lifelight endured in the healing process, never once were those hands sullied with the blood of malintent or pointed in blame. They held memorabilia, climbed the walls so to speak, embraced and apparently dressed herself, ever bearing the henna often reserved for a bride in the East.

By the end of the video, although acknowledging the pains that were near impossible to forget, her fragments gained wholeness with clarity and reckoning. The light of God that had been deposited into her parents, then fused and shared through the chromosomes they gave her fulfilled its expected purpose -- never to return void but to carry on the right way. She stated that "the language of Earth can't even imagine" yet in the spirit and my sight, the message was well-received and beautifully necessary! 

I'd known of Christ my whole life. The grandmother who raised me made absolutely sure of that. Truly knowing, receiving and believing Him, however, is something that no amount of outside prayer, intervention, benediction and coaching can do for us. That relationship is the most intimate! We have already been taught that we aren't to be unequally yoked to anything, but with sincere repentance and yielding to God our balance inproves. We have also been taught to cleave to the wives and husbands of our youth.

Should we unfortunately follow our own leads and join with a non-believer or someone else, however, 1 Corinthians 7:14-16 teaches that the spouse, or whatever and whomever we have joined, may be sanctified by our influence. Regardless, Romans 14:10-13 clearly admonishes us to live in such a way that does not judge another, but can account well for ourselves as individuals when true Judgment arrives. 

After a pretty good but imperfect walk, my ex-fiance and I lost the child I'd prayed decades and erased old ways for. I'd been given a few dreams that foretold of the loss and allowed me some awareness to prepare for the transition, mind you, but the actual mixed feelings of grief, physical healing from the medical complications and the overall process of rebuilding seemed like forever! Just when I thought I was finally getting it right, my first and only pregnancy (contrary to the harsh, biased belief and bedside manner of some of the doctors who seemed jaded in their "inner-city" practice) went all wrong, shortly after Mama's passing no less.

Inner and external taunting arose as the devil sought to use the tragic moment as a breeding ground for sin and other pains. While the time and technology may have changed, that original, defeated tempter/accuser/nemesis of my Lord knows no better than to cause dis-ease and leave human hosts bearing either the weapons or the scars. Certainly, I have stated some of these details before, but like the train of forgiveness-related Bible texts below, it comes through with good purpose, so I oblige.

My hurts don't make me hardened or a saint, as premarital sex and thinking that it was my sole duty to fight whatever presented itself as my enemy are among that which never honor God's best plan for me. Neither does personal pain give anyone else license to terrorize another or discredit how Life's rough places may have rubbed them. That only forces unnatural healing like Job's 'friends' and pridefully takes the Divine duty onto oneself. There is no 'getting over' or 'getting over it' under the Most High. Who but the Lord knows what lies beneath the smile or hard work of the man, woman, boy or girl next door and within?

The Holy Spirit is sent as often as needed to comfort and guide the people of God. Also, all sin is exactly that -- sinful, disgusting and to be done away with per our Creator, not cloaked or projected to appease merely human view. One thing life in the will of God all-ways offers is forgiveness; of our sins and most importantly, of each other's shortcomings including allowing enough grey areas in oneself for the enemy to enter and set up shop. Save for the grievance of the Holy Spirit, we are gracefully gifted not to continue our shady behavior but to emerge from our dark places and enjoy the colorful, transparent freedom of blameless lives.

This evening, I sat in the living room faithfully inspired to press record on the default Windows recorder with a more recent dream in mind. On that night, I found a newborn girl weeping softly and followed my instinct to nurture her. When I sang, she got quiet and held me closely. Quite possibly she represents the me who eventually came to new terms with the loss via unexpectedly helpful lessons from last weekend's session. Maybe s/he represents the emotions of an unseen reader whose hurts could use a psalm and an embrace. I don't know and don't need to violate your privacy -- God is already in the midst, just as He was in my mists!

The previous perfectionist would never release such a rough recording, but she who wailed longest yet silently from that hospital years ago straight until Sunday morning -- like any one who holds on to their debilitating issue(s) -- must be transformed and sealed as a worthy Bride unto the Lord! Opening myself to criticism when I can help it is a pretty big step for me, but I've done it for the love of others. Why not the Love of God in and through me? I understand that we all have our own steps to take and pray the Lord will assist our deliverance once we do. Beyond the occasional cracks and flat tones here or anything my Lord's enemy attempts out there, however, my heart exalts the Almighty God for an undying Love that I will recall for eternity.
Now, only in the sacrifice of praise ~ from wherever you are ~ I am calling you to join me!

(Some FORGIVEN Fruit)

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